Hram

Things of beauty last but a moment

Let that moment be us, at least

Let me not lose myself in the search for the other

Some people’s resentment I do not understand

Generally

Virtuosity no longer has a patron

Come die with me

Tomorrow morning at breakfast

I will pray again

I will dig inside the closet

For all the investigations that

Lie on the sofa

Please do not call for help

It does not exist

Glory to the heavens beneath the earth

I would piss on the critics

At an age where I’m increasingly full of principles

Of paint and glue

These are words

That shy away from people

Who shy away from people like

Me – a word without healing

You don’t wait, you don’t hear

I turn kindness into a gesture of tenderness

Palpable care among you, once I felt

A delicious perfume of noises

A boiled-down broth of helplessness

By what I was saved I do not know

I don’t want to know anymore

The tram is full of

Epithets, metaphors, processes of consciousness

Manifestations dictated by instinct

It hurts so much I feel like throwing up

I’m sour enough, you say

Just because you can’t reach me

Don’t you want us to escape

From this illusory freedom

I had everything to be someone

I was told it’d be hard at first

I felt the visceral clenching of muscles

I screamed

The wolves got frightened

The moon smiled at me

I stretched out in your palms as the tiger took shelter

In my abdomen

It emitted the highest sound of pain

A deaf shout of the temples where I shelter

My ongoing renunciation of life

I gain another day, a moment beside you

Life gives me life

Hope – hope

Love isn’t what it was – it’s what you are

There is light somewhere in the distance to seize

With predatory grasps, we’ll grow it together

Under the same impulse of intermingling

I won’t forget the morning of tomorrow

Because next to me you wake up

With love you told me

I’ve swallowed the tiger, it sleeps now

The high dream of each from everyone

Minute spent between glances

Minute

Spent

Between

Glances

Life begins now

I embrace your arms

In the sternum a nocturnal lyric like on a post-it

On which I write you to wake up gently

To live yourself appropriately

To let life be life

Through you may the world flow into the world

In new horizons let’s find each other

In the song of wings

In the taste of waves

In the scent of the sun

In the sunset of leaves

In future lives

Now and anywhere

I’d dance with you to the music

On which God created the world

Nodding understandingly and curiously

Like to a boom-bap beat

Torn up inside

(Rupți pe dinăuntru)

We are all torn up inside, I said

I showed you what I am

Never duplicitous, never evasive

I answer for my actions like the most pathetic criminal priest

God never pulls you out of the gutter

“The very essence of the universe lies in the scent of almonds” to quote Alan Watts

With all certainty, all people retreat

When there’s war, and freedom seems like the last chance at life

Man shares from his pain

I have ceased to share anything

If you’d ask some people

They’ll tell you they don’t even know what’s left for me to give

I haven’t had anything to offer for about 4 years now

Doctors have placed polypropylene meshes in me

Which continuously press on every nerve and fiber left in me

I carry a tiger in my pelvis

It roars and tells me not to enter the night without shouting

Against the dying light

It’s pure madness

Believe me when I tell you

I wouldn’t wish a day in my flesh on even the cruelest enemy

It closes in on my eyelids

My vision doubles

On the horizon, I notice colors I will never recognize again

Ever, ever, ever

Guided by I don’t know what

I light one as short as the legs of the promised lie at birth

I visualize just as many principles as are missing from the city

I take them apart, I promised myself I would paint them someday

I hear so many stories that utterly shatter me

They block me in an obscure space

Where an artist often remains alone

Involuntarily, I rise

Somehow, I haven’t fallen in a long time, I keep rising

Sporadically, methodically, I reclaim the sound from the end of the highest thought

I rise where the world intertwines at the horizon

A guide promises me the way in vain

If you remain engulfed in non-being

I would like one last wish to come true for you

For life to be ordered, to be easily deciphered

I love that you like it here beside me

I have no intention of leaving

I do not yield, I do not darken, I do not enlighten

I wouldn’t know how to leave this moment in a deadlock

But somehow with a bit of charm I retreat without hiding

I show myself without offering

I discover myself without understanding

I love myself without knowing why

Together we make the impossible possible